How “me time” can improve your “we time”

One thing Morgan and I love about the Aunt-bassadors, our advisory board of 50 fierce, fearless women, is the wide range of perspectives they bring to any topic we throw at them. I mean, that’s why we chose these ladies in the first place. Their ages range from 20-60 but the majority of them are Millennials. They live pretty much all over the U.S. We have a homeschool mom, a neurosurgeon, several artists, a few bloggers, a personal trainer, a yogi, a social media expert, a poet – the list of goes on and on. The point is, these women have LIVED and they’re happy to share their wisdom based on their rich and varied worldview. So I was SHOCKED when pretty much everyone had the same advice on how to maintain your individuality in a relationship. I can sum it up in 3 words:

via GIPHY

Turns out, a little “me time” can improve your “we time.”

For Maree, that means respecting each other’s alone time as much as possible. “He retreats to his man cave to play video games, or I’ll go out for a while by myself and shop. Both of us REALLY need this, so we try to accommodate one another as much as possible.”

Jennifer seconds that emotion, “We try to make time for our own interests. Or even if I am working on a hobby that I like better (like blogging or cross-stitching), it’s something I can do while we’re chilling together and watching TV. I’m not always great at making time for girlfriends—I tend to want to hibernate on weekends recently. But that time with friends is really important, I think.”

Michelle knows that sometimes it can be tricky to assert your need for me time. “Oy. This is the part that leads to hurt feelings. I have a lot of hobbies and the guys I usually date want to partake in all of them. Awkward explaining that I want just one to myself.”

But retaining your own autonomy is important. You and your S.O. fell in love with each other for a reason – and chances are it wasn’t because you were carbon copies of each other. Your individual strengths, perspectives and interests were – and will continue to be – part of the attraction. Having your own identity will allow you to ask for and get what you need from a relationship. Settling for anything less leads to resentment, anger and possibly a breakup.

Clair says this of maintaining individual interests and a little “me time.” “Some of our interests have become shared (ex. whiskey, transmitted from me to him), but there are a lot of things that I love that Adam is meh on and vice versa. And that’s exactly how it should be.”

Mary agrees and even offered up the quote below, “We each continue to do the things we love. We also respect the fact that we have different passions, but still try to do them together from time to time(even if the other person can’t stand the certain passions that the other has😂) Never change the person God made you to be in order to please another individual. It’s necessary to maintain our individuality.”

What do you think? Think two should become one or do you agree that “me time” can improve your “we time?”

 

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