Sweat, sore muscles and Stockholm Syndrome – that’s what my Insanity workouts are made of.
Last week, when I slogged through the Insanity Fit Test, I knew I was in for a hard week, but I had forgotten that it would be so much harder every single day. When getting out of bed is a challenge, pushup jacks are an impossibility.
Suffice it to say, my pause button is getting a better workout than I am.
Day Two was Plyometric Cardio Circuit: Intense lower-body plyo and sweat-inducing cardio. Basically a lot of jumping, gasping and whimpering. I started hitting the pause button during the warm-up and never really let up. And oh, the jiggling. Those football shuffles had me wondering why no one’s invented a butt bra yet.
Day Three Shaun T tried to coax my already aching body into a Cardio Power & Resistance workout, which involved a lot of strength-training and power moves, focusing on the upper body. Yeah, right. My upper body is far more decorative than functional, so I’m with T-Rex on the pushups. Hate. Despise. Loathe. I still do the majority on my knees. And power jumps, a jump squat where you bring your knees up and slap them? If I’d been wearing a Life Alert monitor, I would’ve pushed that instead of “pause.”
Day Four, Wednesday, I got out of bed and fell to the floor. My calves refused to bear any more weight. I had to wear heels to work so I could keep my feet at a 45-degree angle. Luckily, the workout was Cardio Recovery, which I loved. Deep yoga stretches and slow squats. Yes, please. I’ve always neglected my stretching, and done perfunctory warm-ups. With Insanity, I’m oddly grateful for both. Yes, grateful. Hence, the Stockholm Syndrome. Shaun T lets up on the abuse just long enough to make you love him.
Day Five was Pure Cardio, an extreme, non-stop cardio workout that the informercial says will melt fat like candle wax. I must have the candles that re-light every time you blow them out because I was sucking wind throughout the whole workout. And yet… I made it through the warm up without stopping and some of the sets. Could I be getting stronger already?
Day Six was back to the Plyometric Cardio Circuit and again I saw improvement. And my soreness was more manageable. I’m doing about 75 percent of the workout and feeling the first stirrings of pride.
Day 7 is a Rest Day and I had to explain to my dog why we can’t go hiking. Rest means maintaining a horizontal position for most of the day. Shaun T said so. (I’m paraphrasing, of course.)
So, one week down, seven more to go. (Dear God, help me, baby Jesus.)
From Auntie Venom’s Eighties Audio Files:
Again, if you’ve done the Insanity Workout or any other workout challenge, I’d love to hear about your experience. And if you’d like to work out along with me, bring it!
The Friendsanity Challenge is in full effect. Though one person has already dropped out because his “house wasn’t structurally sound enough for all that jumping around.” Pffftt.