Go to your safe place

This weekend, Morgan came up to visit for a few days and as usual we had a blast, doing some damage in Target, working out and eating at little cafes. But there was an added dimension to her visit this time. She’s been working a lot and stressed about some things going on in her life, so I promised her the equivalent of a spa weekend.

No, not at an actual spa, though that might’ve been cheaper than our Sephora haul. We mostly hung out at my house, where we had our usual long talks and got caught up on some Netflix.

And because Morgan’s been working on her fitness, I taught her how to do sun salutations and she tried her first spin class. We got her a yoga mat and a Swiss ball so she can work out more comfortably at home.

She needed to relax, so both nights she took a spa bath with lit candles, a tall glass of cucumber water and her favorite podcast.

As usual we ate delicious food. She tried avocado toast and we ate macarons at Chez Lulu that reminded us of our trip to Paris. We went to Birmingham’s Pepper Place Farmer’s Market for ripe summer tomatoes and some good people watching.

For just over 48 hours, Morgan was checked out of her real life, relaxing completely in a safe place. So I was only slightly surprised when I brought her a warm chocolate chip cookie before bed to find her writing in her journal with tears streaming down her face. I didn’t quiz her about what she was writing because I knew she’d shut down faster than your iPhone when you try to check Snapchat with 3% battery life. I just said “better out than in” and told her I was around if she’d need to talk later.

I know the feeling, though. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much effort we’re exerting trying to hold everything together till we feel secure enough to let go. Sometimes when life gets stormy, we need to shelter in place. We need to find safety in our rituals, our therapist’s office, our gym, or in the company of our loved ones.

Going to your safe place can be the difference between breaking down and breaking through.

Do you know where your safe place is?

Can you be the safe place for someone else?


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