Adultish: 5 signs you’re not totally tragic

Sometimes it can feel like everyone has their shit together but me. Other people talk about hustling and grinding like it’s their favorite form of cardio, whereas I feel “adultish,” – spread too thin or like I’m running just to stand still. I mean, look at all the things that would have to happen to make me think life was on track … or at least Instagram worthy:

Work out

Juggle all my work assignments

Spend quality time with my boyfriend

Catch up with my friends

Eat somewhat healthy

Walk my dog

Do my freelance assignments

Check in with my family

Blog

Promote the blog

Journal

Pay all my bills

Make contributions made to my 401k

Floss my teeth

Change my oil

Commit to a meditation routine

Drink Kombucha

Take probiotics

Do yoga

Achieve flawless skin

Remember usable bags at grocery

Perform a breast self exam

Paint my nails (all ten)

Get enough sleep

Clean the house

Read books for book club

Publish a new book

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It’s exhausting even to consider. While I usually manage only 6 of those at any given time, I console myself that surely I’m not totally tragic. Yes, I have high standards for myself, but life is more than a series of to-do lists. If adultish is the best I can manage, then so be it. Luckily there are 5 ways that let you know that you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

You’ve gotten (somewhat) comfortable being uncomfortable

These days, you’re trying new things, challenging yourself, looking forward not backward and moving beyond the person you were a year ago. Morgan experienced this when she mastered the metro in Paris. I went to a networking event a couple of weeks ago where I only knew one person. Some people do things like that without a second thought. For us, they’re challenges but not barriers.

Are you getting comfortable with a little discomfort? Accepting change as an inevitable and invaluable part of life? Then you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Adultish way to fake it till you make it:

Set one small, achievable goal for the next month that takes you out of your comfort zone.

You’re not spending more than you make

You may only have a nodding acquaintance with that budget you’d like to stick to, but if you’re not accumulating credit card debt, you’ve got a little in savings and you’re able to treat yourself every now and then, then good for you! You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Adultish way to fake it till you make it:

Pay yourself first. Set aside that what you can afford to save from your monthyly income and make sure that goes into savings before you spend anything else. Then don’t touch it. You may have luck with the 80/20 budget: simply save 20% of your take home income. (Take home income = your income after taxes, health insurance premiums and other expenses are taken out of your paycheck.)

You’ve got a sense of purpose

You’ve got a goal, even if it’s to enjoy where you are right now. Maybe your goal is to finish school, land a specific job, start a side hustle, be self-sufficient or volunteer in your community. No matter what your goal, you’ve got a picture of how you want your life to look and you’re working toward it. That’s a sense of purpose. No, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan, (see: comfortable being uncomfortable) but you roll with it. Recalibrate and keep moving forward. Because you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Adultish way to fake it till you make it:

Identify one thing you’re working for and what steps you can take to reach it. Take one significant step toward that goal this month.

You’ve got a good support system and you’re part of someone else’s

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If you’ve got friends or family members who have your back, who support your sense of purpose, help give you the courage to get outside you’re comfort zone, you’re definitely doing better than you give yourself credit for. But don’t underestimate the power of being part of someone else’s support system. It can make you feel better about yourself, something researchers call helper’s high.

Adultish way to fake it till you make it:

If your support system could use some reinforcement, make sure you’re thanking people for the support they’ve given you, then concentrate on being a person others can count on. Strengthening and nurturing your bonds takes time, so don’t always be the one in need. Be there for others and hopefully, they’ll repay the favor.

You’ve learned to accept a compliment.

You can do this right? It sounds like such a little thing, but being able to accept a compliment is proof that you’re not downplaying your own worth, undermining your own self-confidence or indulging in negative self-talk. Gracefully accepting a compliment with a simple thank you is a small but powerful acknowledgment that you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Adultish way to fake it till you make it:

Work on simply not deflecting the compliment, responding by insulting yourself or rejecting the compliment outright. Simply say thank you.

See you’re not totally tragic. Feels good, doesn’t it?

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What about you? Grown-ass woman or “adultish?” How do you know you’re on track?

 

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